If you’re past the honeymoon phase of your marriage, you may be feeling like you need to spend some extra effort on keeping the romance flame burning. If you’ve been married for several years, you may even find that your intimacy may be completely overwhelmed with kids, careers, life and your household.
Lifelong success and happy marriages take a lot of work and commitment. But it doesn’t have to be hard work. With some smaller daily or weekly efforts, you may find that you both are much more fulfilled, happy and less stressed. Not to mention, more likely to have a lot more sex. All good things that will help you to build and retain intimacy and romance in your relationship.
These 5 romantic ideas will help you get started on reigniting the flame in your marriage
-
Let your spouse know they’re always on your mind.
• Leave love post it sized notes hidden around the house or in the car for them to find
• Leave them a loving or sexy voicemail on their work phone to start their week off on a happy note
• Place flower petals above her car visor and tape a note to the mirror. When she checks her makeup the petals will fall into her lap and leave her with a smile and desire for you all day long.
• Put a sexy photo of yourself in his lunch bag -
Plan a surprise romantic dinner at home for your spouse
• Make sure there are no other commitments that evening that may need your spouse’s attention (yes ladies, also check the sports schedule)
• Arrange for babysitting or dog sitting (if you have crazy dogs like we do, this is a must) to ensure it’s just you two for the night.
• Arrange and set the table with flowers and candles or sprinkle confetti on the table for some extra glitz.
• Make their favorite meal. Do they love steak? Or would they prefer homemade mac and cheese? Make this about them for the biggest impact. If you’re not a good cook, a great option is to get take out from your favorite restaurant and then re-plate it on your own dishes.
• Set the mood further by playing soft romantic music, a playlist you created for them when you were just dating or even some music from your wedding day.
• Dim the lights or use enough candles for a full candlelit ambiance. Bonus points if you have a fireplace and set the table near it. -
Be spontaneous and adventurous
• Wake up Saturday or Sunday morning and tell them you’re driving to the beach or going hiking or to your local amusement park for the day.
• Surprise them with concert tickets to a favorite artist, even if it’s in another city.
• Camp in your backyard. Set up a snugly spot for two, have a fire, cook s’mores and dream about your future under the light of the stars. -
Show public displays of affection.
• Hold hands
• Put your arm around them
• Play with her hair
• Put your hand on his leg at dinner
• Touch each other often and lovingly -
Make your sex lives a priority.
• Your bedroom should be a sanctuary for you two. No pets, kids or tv’s to distract or take away from it.
• Remember that the house can be cleaned, dishes can be done and bills can be paid tomorrow (or in an hour or two).
• Nothing is more important than you two. Focus on that. You have each other for a lifetime.
Additional tips
- Setting the mood in advance includes decompressing from work and responsibilities, but also letting your spouse know they are loved and connected with you.
- Women generally need more time to get in the mood. Try a neck massage, a long kiss, playing soft romantic music.
- Get comfortable with each other. Being vulnerable and open will provide a gateway into deeper intimacy.
- Be open to discovery and have fun. The more you explore, the more you will learn about each other: what works, what doesn’t and it will keep things new and exciting.
- Create Anticipation throughout the day. Send your spouse a sext. Or give them a long slow kiss instead of a quick peck in the morning before work.
- Intimacy is more emotional than physical. Get in touch with each other by expressing your innermost needs and desires.