“In the end, we only regret the chances we didn’t take, relationships we were afraid to have, and the decisions we waited too long to make.”
I love my husband. And I love traveling with him.
When we travel together, you can often find us at all-inclusive paradise islands, sipping on fancy drinks with umbrellas in them and walking on the beach. While this is amazing and the best way to relax and unwind together, it’s not the only way I want to travel. My husband, Mike, is all about doing that kind of trip, year after year together. Which is awesome, but I crave culture, art and exploration. And I have a long list of places, countries and things I need to see.
So when I told him I wanted to go to France, and that I wanted to go now, not next year or the year after, he told me 100% to go, but that he wasn’t interested in joining me…. One day after mulling it over, I booked the trip!
The responses I have received since have been varied. Mostly starting with:
“What?! How on earth can you go on a vacation without your husband?” or
“You’re so brave, I could never do that” or
“I wish I had the courage to do it” or
“you’re crazy… “ or “you must be selfish….”
“is your marriage okay? Must be trouble in paradise…”
And everything you can imagine filled in between those lines.
On the other hand, Mike has responded with utmost pride in me. He knows this trip is and has been something I have wanted since I was a teenager. He’s also incredibly proud of my ability, confidence and strength.
Just because he isn’t interested in a trip I want to take doesn’t mean our marriage is on the rocks or that we’re not compatible. We have many things in common that we enjoy doing together. But there will always be some destinations and activities your partner just won’t be interested in. And that’s okay! There is nothing worse than experiencing something you’re truly excited about with someone who couldn’t care less.
So here are 3 awesome solo travel benefits that will actually enrich your marriage:
- Absence makes the heart grow fonder — Cliche as it is, it’s true. Spend a weekend without your love and you’re going to miss them. Spend a week without them and you’re going to be dying to see them and catch up on everything that happened. When you’re together 24/7, routine can become… dare I say? … boring. When you have some time apart, you get all the warm and fuzzies and won’t be able to stop talking. Even better, you won’t be able to keep your hands off of each other!
- You’ll have more to talk about with each other — Mike and I live and work together, so we’re basically together 24/7 and experience everything together. At the end of the day, that doesn’t leave much to talk about. When we have a day or two apart, we have so much we want to catch up on. It’s like we’re back in the honeymoon phase and have multiple hour long talk sessions. Being apart allows us to grow as individuals, but also reconnect as a couple. It’s a win-win.
- It makes you want to work on your relationship harder — When you know you’re going to be separated for a period of time, you are more likely to “make up for it” by spending more quality time together beforehand and planning quality time together afterwards that will enhance your relationship. This is similar to getting out of routines, especially for couples that have been together for years. It’s a great way to spice up your relationship, build and reconnect as needed.
So when the nay-sayers of the world make you feel like you’re being self-centered or say inappropriate things to you, just remember to stop worrying about what other people think. They aren’t you. They don’t understand your life or your marriage because they have their own lives. And they’re basing their questions off of their own experiences, which says a lot about them as individuals.