The history of anniversary gifts (and why they still matter more than ever)
If you’ve ever gone searching for an anniversary gift, you’ve probably run into “the list.” Paper, cotton, leather, fruit or flowers, wood…. Year after year, it tells you exactly what you’re supposed to give depending on your milestone. But did you know that list didn’t always exist and anniversary gifts didn’t start as a yearly tradition at all?
Anniversary celebrations started with just two milestones
The tradition of anniversary gift giving dates back to Medieval Europe, most notably in Germanic regions. However at the time, only two anniversaries were celebrated:
- 25 years: silver – represented clarity, strength and reflection
- 50 years: gold – symbolized permanence, wealth and success of the union
If a couple reached one of these milestones, it was a big deal. Families and communities would gather as a public celebration, and the husband would present his wife with a silver or gold wreath. Back then, reaching 25 or 50 years of marriage wasn’t guaranteed. Life was a lot harder, shorter and less predictable. So when a couple made it that far, the gift was more about recognition of how they got there than because of a personal tradition.
Anniversary celebrations were about what the marriage represented and that part hasn’t changed at all. We still honor and value:
- Stability in times when life is uncertain
- Commitment that stands the test of time
- A shared life that continues to grow along side us as individuals as well as a couple or family unit
How traditional anniversary gifts became more personal over time
As the tradition spread through Europe and into the United States in the 18th and 19th centuries, something shifted. Anniversaries became less about the acknowledgment of arranged marriages working out and more about the couple themselves. In addition, people began celebrating earlier milestones (not just years 25 and 50) however there still wasn’t a guide set in place on what to follow.
When the “Anniversary Gift List” was created
The idea of assigning a specific gift to each year didn’t really take hold until the early 1900s. In 1922, etiquette expert Emily Post published one of the first structured anniversary guides. Even then, it only covered a handful of major milestones: the 1st, 5th, 10th, 15th, 20th, 25th, and 50th and 75th years of marriage. The full annual celebration came later and was largely shaped in the 1930s, when retailers expanded the list to include every anniversary.
Commercial Expansion
The current traditional anniversary list was influenced by consumer culture and was largely driven by American retail and marketing institutions in the 1930s. This helped to stimulate the economy after the Great Depression. It also created emotional and personal reasons to celebrate life and love which improved well-being and happiness. If anything, this reveals that people wanted a reason to celebrate their relationship consistently, not just once every 25 years or every 5 years as was previously indicated in the Emily Post etiquette guide. The new structure gave couples something to look forward to, a moment to reflect on their lives together, a reason to celebrate and have fun!
Why this tradition still matters today
We live in a world where everything moves fast. Most of our memories live on screens and time can easily blur together. Taking the time to celebrate an anniversary allows us to slow life down a bit. It gives us a reason to stop and think about what we have done together as a couple, how far we have come, where we want to go or what we want to achieve.
Maybe, most importantly, taking time to celebrate an anniversary allows us as individuals to show our partners that they matter. That our lives together is something to be proud of and that love is the reason it’s all coming together.
Make your anniversary something you can actually hold onto
There’s something powerful about having a physical piece of your story. It’s not just a memory, but something you can see every day as a reminder. That’s why I’ve always believed anniversary gifts should be personalized. If you’re looking for a place to start, here are some of gift ideas and more information on the meaning of the gifts to explore:
- The place that started your story, keepsake maps – Available on paper, cotton, leather or wood
- A photo from moment you never want to forget – leather anniversary gift idea
- A travel map to plan a life of adventure together – available on paper or cotton
- Learn more about the cotton 2nd anniversary gift
- Learn more about the leather 3rd anniversary gift
- Lean more about the wood 5th anniversary gift
References & Sources
The history of anniversary gift traditions draws from a combination of historical texts, etiquette guides, and cultural research from the below sources:
- Etiquette in Society, in Business, in Politics, and at Home by Emily Post — Free and full original text on Project Gutenberg
- Wedding anniversary history & connection to the National Retail Jeweler’s Association
- Marriage, a History: How Love Conquered Marriage by Stephanie Coontz
- The Family, Sex and Marriage in England 1500–1800 by Lawrence Stone
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